The babysitter has arrived

Once, the babysitter has arrived, if they are young, expect them to need a ride to and from your house, show them the emergency list first. Show them around the house, introduce them to your children, and show them any animals safely in their kennels. Once you’ve confirmed that everything seems to be going well, and you’ve answered all their questions you can almost leave.

Food, drinks, and snacks. I have had parents gesture to a fridge, full of food, and say to help myself to whatever. As a child, I looked at the unopened items and ingredient household and felt a sense of dread and resignation. Now, as an adult, I would just help myself, but even so, it’s not like i can make myself bread, or make myself something truly good to eat. So, have some prepared snacks that everyone can eat.

I remember once, the parents held up two ramen packets, they had 5 children and said that the packets were for the girls dinner. However, my sister and I were also there, and were going to be there for about 7-10 hours. But we’d been forgotten. We didn’t return. Another time, one of the parents returned during the babysitting session with fast food but forgot to get me anything so I just sat there while they ate.

The families that I returned to had opened their boxes of soda, so I didn’t have to be the one to open them, and ordered pizza because everyone can eat it. Also, I can eat it later when I’m hungry and the children are asleep. Don’t be stingy and not feed your babysitter.

Remember, they’re not your maid. This is an odd one, but you’d be surprised how many families expect the babysitter to do the dishes and clean up the house. I would walk into kitchens piled high with dishes from the day, and neatly place on the counter the dishes from dinner and then return to focus on the children. If the dishwasher was empty, I’d place them inside. However, I never wanted to hunt for dishwasher pods or check to see what was dishwasher safe. I had one family, who was a repeat, ask me to do the dishes because they’d noticed I hadn’t the time before. That was their last time.

They are not your maid. You should hire a maid if that’s what you’re looking for. Their focus in on the children, and when the children are asleep, their focus is still on the children as they often get up crying while waiting for their parents to come home. There is never a time to start doing house chores. The babysitter is in an unfamiliar environment and is focusing their attention appropriately. If you want the dishes in the dishwasher, have the pod already loaded and an empty dishwasher. Nothing else should be expected.

Parents have returned. When you get back, have grace if the babysitter has fallen into a light sleep. They should still be aware, and if all the children are asleep and good, it’s fine. I never fell asleep but I knew some families would be fine with it and some wouldn’t. Please understand, this is likely a school night, or just past their usual bedtime and they’ve been working hard to keep your children entertained, monitored, and safe.

When you get through the door, one parent should go check on the children and then you should immediately, without prompting, pay them, in cash. Do not expect them to ever return if they have to ask you, or give them an IOU.

Pay them fairly. Although there’s little they can do in the moment, if you decide to stiff them, they will talk to their friends and network and you will be shadow banned. Finally, take them straight home. While still dressed up, one of the parents needs to take the babysitter home. Straight home.

I loved babysitting for families that had pizza, easy drinks, well behaved children, a planned itinerary, and paid me well. I would have come over every weekend. For others, it was a one and done deal.